Day 10 SITREP #1

It’s been a long, long day, but a fabulous one.  Another gleaming evening’s sleep deprivation therapy in a drill hall reverberating to the sound of middle aged blokes snoring and squeaky cam-cots interspersed with the clumsy footsteps of overnight prostate management.  Again.  The SMO really does have some work to do when we get back.  No matter, just one more day of riding to get through and it’s all gravy.  One more day before many bikes can be retired to garages and sheds various and allowed to gather dust for at least a few weeks.  Although I’m betting that one or two perverted individuals will get out for a ride over the weekend.  Tea and chicken sandwiches for breakfast – obvious choice really; before some last minute, last day bike prep.  Some of the machines have taken some serious punishment and the principle of ‘bodge it’ for the last 90-odd miles was clearly being used in some cases.  Another overnight puncture for the ‘Old Man of Shap’ had to be fixed once more – we think he’s been using sausage skins for tyres.  Makes a change from his burst sausage skin shorts he wears for training rides.  All finally squared away and the team press out with a great deal of excitement and anticipation for what is definitely in line to be an epic day.

First order of business is to fight through the Preston morning traffic and ride the 7 miles to the RAFA Club in Leyland.  7 miles, one road (ish).  As Clarkson would say – ‘what could possibly go wrong?’.  Plenty. The Support Team made a great effort of directing us to Leyland, then their vehicles split in different directions.  Riders particularly enjoyed the tour of the various industrial units in Leyland and the ‘Leyland Morrisons Criterium Challenge’.  Realisation dawned that even the route maps were pump, and the Support Team sat-nav equipment various wasn’t throwing straight dice.  At least we had unwittingly already recce’d the route out of Leyland.  Twice.   At this point the Riding Team went EMCON and decided to navigate using The Force.  Result, the RAFA Club hoves into view sharpish and awaiting us is the Mayor and Mayoress of South Ribble - Councillor Jim Marsh and Mrs Susan Marsh, RAFA Director of Membership, Gp Capt Bob Hounslow, RAFA Northern Region Director, Darrell Slater-Smith and the Northern Region girls, the Area Chairman and lots of very nice RAFA Members from the Leyland Area.  More importantly, there was also cake for Bianca.  A photocall session outside the club culminated in what I can only describe as incriminating shots involving Bianca, a Cannondale CAAD 8 and the Mayor of South Ribble to much amusement in the rest of the team.  Can't wait to see them in the Lancashire Evening Post tomorrow!  A great spread and some nice words from the Area Chairman and the Mayor were hugely uplifting and it was again humbling to see just how much people appreciate the team’s efforts.  Met a lot of great people and ate a lot of cake!  No time for sitting around though and after a super send-off, we rode back out of Leyland on the pre-recce’d road to deal with the meat of the day and the final, yes final 85 mile thrash back to RAF Leeming.  Not before yet another nav faff with the team managing to bomburst on different roads on the run back through Preston.  A short while later, all the rogue riders are swept up and the team turn east for home.  But that’s another story and tonight, it’s late and time for some well earned sleep, so we’ll pick this one up in the morning!!

Day 9 SITREP

It’s a war of attrition!  First we lose Scotty M and today Jay clearly forgot to take his ‘man-up’ pills and had to get off the bike midway through the morning’s climbs.  Unlucky Jay, but you were carrying quite a few injuries and sadly it was only a matter of time.  The remaining riders were extremely sympathetic to Jay at the first feeding stn in Penrith.  At no point were the phrases ‘weak’, ‘careless’, ‘can’t you man-up’ or ‘you haven’t fallen off yet’ used to express our appreciation of his situation.  We retired him a broken man to the wagon with a brew.  Hard rules in the riding team after over 800 miles.



Today’s stage was a good one, 103 miles or so of nice rolling roads with some excellent inclines to warm up the legs and prepare the riders for the climb over Shap later.  A lot of tired legs again this morning, probably due to 800+ miles and the fact that a rubbish night’s sleep was had for many, in the worst accommodation on the route so far.  After yesterday’s efforts, the sight of an office on the end of a warehouse surrounded by ammo wasn’t exactly what the riders had in mind.  Some serial snorers in the Support Team and a bunch of old men getting up to visit the toilet every 10  minutes made for an interesting evening for some.  Clearly a lot of prostate action for the SMO to sort out on our return.  A large scale toast-fest and lots of brews were consumed while some last minute bike admin was attended to with the biblical rubbish roads yesterday accounting for a wheel bearing, lots of loose fixings and a puncture.  We robbed Scotty M’s bike for spares (all its good for anyway; besides Mrs Scotty has flogged his other bikes while he’s been away), only to find his rear wheel was buckled anyway.  At least the bearing worked, so a quick cassette change and some hammering and the team was ready to go. The daytime occupants of the office turned up, very much wondering why 6 blokes were dressed in full-on ‘pest’ lycra and liberally applying chamois cream to the crotch (not each others, I might add – haven’t got to that stage yet).  You can’t really explain that away or ‘crevice management’ to be honest and most of us didn’t bother to try.  Nice to bid farewell to Longtown, don’t think I’ll be booking my summer holiday there anytime soon!

Some nice headwinds and a few showers on the run down to Carlisle as the Super Domestique led the line of riders southbound, slowly cranking up the pace once the ‘Old Man of Tydrum’s’ bones were warmed up.  The old boy had experienced a pretty rough day yesterday and we were fully expecting him to bounce back (not off the tarmac for once) an dish it out today. 

Through Carlisle without drama and onto the A6.  Not much chance for nav-faffs today as just over 90 miles on the same road was in the offing; could of actually been boring, but the myriad of small climbs did a lot to break the monotony – and a few hamstrings.  Super Domestique was in the groove today fuelled by an epic sized cheese and onion pattie ‘cannonball’ the previous night and drove the team hard up the climbs to Penrith and after we lost Jay, the pace increased further, with everyone getting a good dab on up to the first feeding stn.  The Support Team had planned to use a location on the southern part of town, but the sight and smell of MacDonalds as the group went through the town centre was too much for Bianca and in seconds flat she had abandoned bike and was at the counter ordering big food.  Again.  The Support Team (now +1) had a quick spot of re-org to do, but you can’t keep a hungry bird from her Big Mac (or pizza, chips, pies, chicken etc – you get the picture; feed the monkey).  A brew and a refill of bottles and the 6-ship departed Penrith for the 30 mile run to Kendal.  Plenty to ‘eat’ on this leg, with Shap slap bang in the middle.  Some good efforts getting over the lower slopes and then the whole team worked hard as a single group with the Super Domestique making the pace on the front to get to the summit in pretty good time.  The ‘Old Man of Tydrum’ received the new title of ‘Old Man of Shap’ after his conquering performance, although Bianca did have to encourage him up the last few miles with some Primark Sports ‘G’ showage (other Sports ‘Gs’ are available.  Apparently).  Anyway, Shap done and time for the very fast descent into Kendal with some of the boys smashing it at max chat to the second feeding stn and a monster pile of chicken butties.  Happy days.  Replen complete, the Super Domestique got back on the front and drove the team hard, whipping the hounds good and proper, past Morcombe Bay, Carnforth and southbound onto Lancaster.  A bit of bleating from the rest of the team in places but they were all good for it and all produced the goods when required – good drills.

After yesterday’s nightmare on the Afghan roads of southern Scotland, it was almost a pleasure to ride the smooth roads of Cumbria, however, once in Lancashire, whilst the roads remained good, the quality of the driving left a lot to be desired.  More close calls today than during the previous 800 miles put together.  Lancaster had to be the worst, with buses, trucks and Audi A3s deciding to try and ram the riders off the road.  Bianca also got a load of stick from the locals, although they drove off before the ‘Old Man of Shap’ could start port and starboard windmilling.  Clearly cyclists aren’t welcome in Lancaster, maybe it’s a ‘local town for local people’?  Anyway, thanks for nothing.  That said, the lorry driver who had 2 attempts at taking out Tats, did produce an ad-hoc 10 mile time trial smash off the front for Tats and Kev as they gave chase before the lorry bottled it and turned onto the M6.  Not wanting to waste the effort, the boys pressed onto the next rest stop in Garstang at max chat and got a brew in while the rest of the team arrived.  Garstang – the least signposted town in Lancashire.  That’s 2 chases and 2 fails for Tats – clearly lacking a touch of pace these days!

Traffic was the main factor in Lancaster and the final 12 mile run from Garstang to Preston was worse.  Proper gridlock from start to finish, happily with a few cycle lanes for protection.  Super Domestique on the front again, clearly eager to get the last leg out of the way and whipping the hounds once more.  Into Preston and it was time for kamikaze tactics to make any sort of progress through the traffic with Tats and Kev blazing a path through the unaware, impolite and thoroughly dangerous drivers of Preston.  Bianca got the horn once or twice (does that scan correctly?!!), but she’s good for it.  Finally Deepdale hove into view and the drill hall in Kimberley Barracks (no expense spared on this trip!!).  Lots of back slapping and rightly so after an excellent performance from the whole team.  The Support Team got it spot on today and the Riding Team were massive, both on Shap and particularly when being driven very hard on the flat.  Everybody earned their pie (or in Bianca’s case, 2 pies) today, nice one.

Massive pizza action tonight to replace the 6800 calories burnt today, although I have to confirm that Bianca won the ‘eat off’ yet again.  I may have to employ the geezer from Man vs Food to take this woman on!  Plenty of morale tonight, but a lot of very tired and painful bodies, but then again, pain is just weakness leaving the body.  Nothing weak about these riders – all have them have been massive.  Period.

Final day tomorrow and it will be a shame for this to come to an end.  919 miles have been chewed through over the last 9 days, which for some of the more inexperienced riders, is an epic feat.  For us old gits, well, what can I say – it doesn’t get any easier as the years move on and it takes longer and longer to climb out of bed each day.

Looking forward to the RAFA Club in Leyland tomorrow morning and then getting back to RAF Leeming where I know a warm welcome awaits us.  The support from homebase, friends and families and from the fabulous people we’ve met along the route has been utterly humbling and all of us are so grateful, it’s been an experience we will never forget.  Some will carry the physical scars forever (but in places you don’t want to know about) and Bianca will carry the mental scars of sharing accommodation with 13 blokes, most of whom are middle aged, sweaty, smelly and clad in dodgy lycra outfits fit only for a cheap Bosnian strip joint.  I’ll leave you with that special image and see you all tomorrow – 1600 hrs – sharp!!!

Day 8 SITREP

A very hard day in the saddle today for so many reasons.  The little niggling injuries are starting to get bigger and the cumulative effect of over 800 miles in the saddle is definitely starting to take its toll on the riders bodies, well certain body areas anyway.  More of that later.

After the epic admin faff the previous evening, the admin faff to escape from the Wardroom was relatively painless and the various messes did put on a big breakfast, although the Wardroom staff were bemused as to exactly why Bianca still needed to eat breakfast for 3 men after putting away her bodyweight in food the previous evening!  Feed the monkey and it keeps spinning. Obvious really.

Clearly a lot of tired minds and bodies today. The banter is normally fast, harsh and unrelenting, but the ride out of the gate at HMNB Clyde was unusually quiet, if not silent as the Super Domestique led the group out on the first leg to the Erskine Bridge. Definitely having the welfare of the team foremost in his mind, Colin decided to break the silence with a blatant attempt to take out Tats from behind, caught a wheel and went down hard in the middle of the road.  As luck would have it right in the path of 2 artics on both sides of the road.  Some riders will stop at nothing to get out of the rest of the ride.  Colin got a mixed reception for his efforts – Scotty R immediately went to check out damage to the bike, Scotty M looked for any spares he could thieve from Colin’s bike and Stevie P got on the phone to PMA to see if he could have the likely vacancy at RAF Leeming.  Sometime later Colin was eventually picked up out of the road and dusted down.  Other than a spot of road rash, there was only damage to the ‘Old Man of Tydrum’s’ pride.  That said, I look forward to watching him try and get out of bed unassisted tomorrow morning.  He got back on and hit the front, smashing out the pace like a man possessed – good drills; until he got a bollocking from Bianca for going too fast.  You just can’t please all of the people all of the time!  Sadly, no more excitement for a few miles, although Kev and Scotty almost kissed the tarmac themselves after too much staring at the passing scenery; both are nominees for today’s ‘pest’ award.

Through Helensborough and Dumbarton and off to a very important photocall with none other than Colin’s Mum, Mrs Hunter near the Erskine Bridge.  She was most welcoming, although we had to warn her not to leave any food out before she let Bianca in the house.  She did suggest to Colin that he “was too old for this”.  The ‘Old Man of Tydrum’ was silent.  A few pics later and after a very kind donation, we bade farewell to Mrs Hunter and conducted an ‘out of contact admin move’ through the nightmare of Glasgow, picking up the route a little way south.  The route started with some nice rolling inclines to get the thighs warm again and a suitably disappointing headwind to drop the average speed a little.  That said, the weather has been pretty kind to us today after the rubbish it served up yesterday at times.  The team split into 2 groups, with the sprinters moving out ahead and the climbers in a larger group a little way behind, but always gaining ground on the ascents.

The biggest drama today without doubt has been the savage condition of the roads.  Argyll & Bute won the prize for the worst roads in Scotland yesterday, but were promptly outdone big style by Dumfries and Galloway.  Utter rubbish.  Particularly the B7078 which parallels the A74(M).  Bone shaking, filling loosening and chalfont bursting.  And that was the good bits.  The parallel cycle lanes and paths were in even worse condition and often littered with debris.  I was going to say something along the lines of ‘my backside hasn’t seen that sort of punishment for sometime’ but I’m sure it won’t sound right, so I won’t.  Even trying to get some speed on the downhill sections was almost impossible and the whole team made slow and painful progress.  Might have well gone cross-country – it may have been faster!  In the few sections that had a decent surface, the speed picked up swiftly and the boys and girls were happily smashing out 20+ mph averages.  At the feeding stn in Abington Services, there was time for some en-route crevice management and the Support Team raised morale with some epic size cream cakes.  For some of the riders, it had been a hard and difficult day to the point, but spirits picked up and once more we cracked on southwards.  A lot of other cyclists on the road today and a few other groups doing long events.  The climbers caught up with an ex-military team of guys on the JOGLE heading to Dumfries.  After a brief chat and some pleasantries, the climbers took great pleasure in smashing them on the next hill, with Bianca smiling sweetly as she dropped them like a worn out sock.  Hard rules in the climbers’ group these days.

A few tasty inclines to get up and over during the course of the afternoon, but nothing that the team hadn’t dealt with previously, but the blustery headwind picked up and made the going hard, particularly past the various windfarms.  Can’t think why.  After a seemingly endless run into Lockerbie, the team RV’d and conducted a brief spot of re-org with a great deal of arse related discussion and comparison.  Trust me you don’t want to know.  Thankfully, before my joints were shaken from their sockets and all my fillings fell out, the team arrived in Gretna, where the obligatory photo was taken before the last few miles to Longtown.  Strangely enough, as soon as we crossed the border into England, the road improved and the crevice punishment subsided – not before time.  I’ve never been so pleased to leave Scotland before!

An impressive list of injuries are building amongst the team: Tats – achilles; Kev – backside; Bianca – wrist, shoulder; Colin – shoulder, road rash, pride; Stevie P – knee, groin; Scotty R – back.  Jay wins the prize for the most broken bits – knee, hamstring, hands, backside, balls.  Even the Support Team have managed to damage themselves with a schoolboy fall in the shower from Fletch.  Careless.  We’ve also managed to brake Scotty M permanently and he sadly returned to RAF Leeming at the end of day, with Ben following a death in the family.  Sorry to see you go guys, but we look forward to seeing you in a few days.

A big day tomorrow with the small matter of Shap to get over before the roll downhill into Preston.  Keeping the wheels turning and stopping and more body parts from falling off will be the order of the day. 

Day 7 SITREP

An interesting day to say the least after yesterday’s 126 mile slog.  An awesome breakfast in Ballachulish, to fuel some very tired legs, was unfortunately not enough to lift the spirits against the harsh Highland weather – lots of rain and a head wind to boot. The dish of the day was 102 miles down to Faslane, not quite as juicy as the previous day’s ‘Chef’s Special’ but certainly had a few lumps to get over along the way.

The first leg was 28 miles of coastal road to the first stop at Connell. Cue some very cold and very wet riders – Kev, Scotty R and Jay made a break for the first feed stn whilst Super Domestique, true to form towed along Colin and Bianca who were only good for a disappointing but insurmountable 11mph – Steve P came along for the ride as well, trying to improve on his record 65 mile drafting epic yesterday.  Scotty M was shelled out of the back early doors, having stopped to put on more layers (poor admin drills!) and was eagerly awaited at Connell to see what had taken him so long – to everyone’s surprise and disappointment he arrived having spent the last 10 miles in the wagon. He has a knee injury which may respond to a little rest and he sadly sat out the remainder of the day, keeping the Support Team on their toes. We’ll see how he is in the morning.  Connell could not have come quickly enough for most and all the riders enjoyed a brief respite in warm wagons and more meat pies – particular for serial eater Bianca.

One major theme of the day, other than tired and grumpy riders, was the quality, or lack thereof of the Scottish road surfaces. With more signs saying ‘Uneven Road Surfaces Ahead’ than you can throw your bike at and a quote from Super Domestique “I’ve been on better roads in Sangin” the next leg saw 32 miles of crevice punishment and loosened fillings hile the riders enjoyed the Scottish version of the Paris-Roubaix

The next delectable morsel on the menu (with the big side garnish of Scottish weather) was the 8 mile slog up to Tydrum, complete with a cheeky Cat 4 climb about half way up.  At least the road surface on the climb was pretty smooth, although the gradient was punishing for a few of the more fatigued riders.  Seeing that Colin was struggling, Stevie P and Tats cut him loose and smashed the climb at max chat, before hitting the last few miles hard to bring down the gap to the leading group – good drills Stevie P, but he still didn’t manage to get on front.  Super-climber Bianca was left to bring the ‘Old Man of Tydrum’ up the hill, by getting him to ‘chase the monkey’. Again.

Pizza and brews on top of the climb at the 2nd feeding stn before the decent down to the shores of Loch Lomond.  The ‘Old Man of Tydrum’ needed a bit of time in the wagon warming his bones before he took on the next leg, which after a smooth decent served up even worse roads than the previous leg.  Argyll & Bute certainly win the prize for the ‘worst roads in Scotland’ – a lot of bike admin will be needed in the morning to tighten up various loose odds and ends, although replacing riders’ fillings may be more difficult.  On the turn to handrail around Loch Lomond, the weather then served up a strong headwind just to sap the legs a little more.  Some manning up was required in order to make decent progress and the team sped on towards the 3^rd feeding stn at Tarbet with 3 riders in invidual breakaways off the front and the usual tag-team looking after the ‘Old Man of Tydrum’.  Some nice views of Loch Lomond to be had.  Apparently.  Some riders got closer views of passing traffic thanks to some rubbish driving with Tats even  trying to chase down one particular white van man miscreant after a particularly close call.  The trailing group left Tarbet some miles behind, but knowing that the last big climb of the day was only 11 miles and that some of the time could be easily grabbed back on the ascent.  The turn onto the final 8 miles delivered an excellent set of thigh burning pitches, some short, but all very steep, with most of the riders deploying the granny gear to full effect.  Some massive efforts required to get over the last hill and then the fast roll down to HMNB Clyde.  Cue monumental admin faff and much grumpiness on the part of the riders, however, we eventually got sorted and got onto the important business of food.  Bianca caused much amusement with the Wardroom staff after putting in her order and then being handed 3 sets of cutlery.  No, she pointed out, it’s all for me!!!!  Feed the monkey, feed the monkey.

No Labradors thankyou!

Day 6 SITREP

An epic day in so many ways.  An excellent monster breakfast in the Officers’ Mess at RAF Lossiemouth and fabulous weather saw the team out of the gate and onto the longest stage of the event – a minimum of 106 miles, with the option to push onto the JSMTC at Ballachulish to make a total of 126 miles.  A later start and the chance to grab a little extra sleep was much appreciated and a fatigued, but eager team pedalled away from Lossiemouth.  There had been a lot of banter the previous night as to who was ‘the daddy’ with the Chuckle Brothers promising to serve Tats up with the old Team Scotty ‘one-two’ south of Fort William.  The banter was clearly taken seriously and the Scotties had already been caught dismounting kit from their bikes to save weight – phase 1 of the psyops complete.

A few miles out from the start and at the end of the ‘neutral zone’, Tats caught the Chuckle Brothers napping and launched an epic attack off the front which went unanswered by the Chuckles.  Kev and Jay made an attempt to catch, but didn’t trouble a flying Tats who completed another solo time trial winner to the 1^st feeding stn in Nairn at 28 miles; pysops phase 2 complete.  The chasing bunch were headed by Kev and Jay who pressed on swiftly to Inverness as we had an appointment with Nanny Mc and some of Kev’s family at Inverness Railway Stn.  The route was a pleasant ride along the coast of northern Scotland with a following wind for the main and some awesome scenery.  A short stop in Inverness, a photo with Nanny Mc and the team then started the route down the Great Glen alongside Loch Ness, no monsters here and no monster hills, but certainly some ‘undulations’ to get over.  The team had split into a lead group (working hard to stay away) and a non-chasing group who were just content to make a decent average speed on the run down the Great Glen, including one of the Scottys, conducting a watching brief from the back of the group.  The 2^nd feeding stn came up at 65 miles at the Loch Ness Visitor Centre in Drumnadrochit.  Excellent work from the Support Team, who had pizza on hand for all and they even tried to sell RAFA Spitfire badges to the coach load of German tourists – not as successful as their pizza!! Bianca again was requiring a lot of fuel and was so hungry, it looked like she would start on the road kill, but a whole veggie pizza, toasted sarni, crisps and a squaddie bar later, she was ready to get on the road again.  The Chuckle Brothers now pressed on ahead with the rear group being joined by guest rider Ben from the Support Team.  Ben hadn’t done much cycling previously and as he wobbled about the carpark on a test run, there was much amusement.  They next 30 miles to Invergarry were spectacular from a scenery perspective, but served up some testing long inclines and a headwind at times.  Ben wasn’t given any quarter and was doing an excellent job of staying with the group.  The lead group however had pressed ahead and the Support Team were struggling to stay ahead of them.  A short pitstop in Invergarry and the riders pressed on to Fort William.  A long drag to get up to Spean Bridge allowed the team to pay their respects at the Commando Memorial and briefly enjoy some spectacular views including the snow on top of the Cairngorms.

A lot of riders running on empty at this point and it needed a big effort on the front of the main group from the Super Domestique to keep things rolling.  A seemingly endless but extremely fast run-in to Fort William ended and the riders chose to smash out the last 20 miles to Ballachulish and get those all important miles in the bag.  Guest rider Ben was still with the rear group and was clearly starting to regret his decision to stay as the pace was steadily increased as the finished loomed large.  With the light fading and weather closing in, the final group rolled into Ballachulish after an epic day in the saddle.  Some big, big performances from all the boys and girls today, with a 126 mile stage in the bag over some nice lumps.

A very swift admin turnround at the JSMTC Ballachulish and out for a well deserved dinner, which saw 13 very tired people try to make polite conversation, eat and not fall asleep.  Ride of the day goes to Ben (much to the disappointment of Tats after his time trial epic in the morning), for his brave (but foolish!) 70 thrash along the Great Glen as his first introduction to cycling – top man!  Stevie P gets ‘drafter’ of the day over an excellent performance to draft Tats for about 65 miles on the run-in to Ballachulish!!  There’s been a lot of eating and a lot of singing from Bianca, although she still hasn’t realise that Tats increases the pace in order to shut her up!  Colin was in excellent form and kept everyone’s morale up, particularly when he briefly jumped on the front, wound the pace up on a hill, then promptly blew up, cueing much laughter from the group, thanks mate!

Tomorrow is likely to be a different prospect, with the met forecast not looking good.  Don’t mind the rain, but just hate the headwinds – we’ll see what turns up.

Lots of bandwidth and service dramas tonight/today, so I'll add pics when we get out of the Highlands!

Day 5 SITREP

Victoria Barracks, Ballater



What a difference 24 hrs makes.  Wet and miserable probably best describes it, and that was just Jay.  The Scottish weather sold a perfect dummy early this morning by appearing to offer a ‘reasonable’, only to deliver a windy and thoroughly wet day of ‘rubbish’ – just the sort of conditions required for 6 hours in the saddle and a pile of hills to get over.  Nice.  Excellent work from 2(Dundee) Sig Sqn for delivering a suitably big breakfast for the team before the departure from Ballater, thanks to their RQMS.  The route involved running back to Banchory before turning north-west for RAF Lossiemouth.  The road to Banchory had a few lumps, made worse by several sets of tired legs from yesterday’s efforts and the weather decided to give us a proper soaking and rubbish headwind to boot as we left the Caingorms.  Super Domestique on the front again tapping out the pace, with everyone in various states of wet-weather gear, some more bizarre than others.  Out of Banchory and the long gradual climb to Lumphanan was a trying time, with the team tucking in and trying to make the best of it.  Some nice thigh burners to complete the first 31 miles to the 1^st feeding stn and we arrived in Lumphanan.  We were using a pub carpark and the landlord looking at the weather and the state of the team happily opened the bar, turned the heating up and put the kettle on; excellent stuff Henry – we owe you!!  Would have been nice to watch the Trooping of The Colour and have a few beers, but the next leg waited for no man (or Bianca, for that matter).  A stroke of genius from the Support Team Manager sent the majority of the team out on the wrong road, with only a small group actually managing to find the correct road out of the village.  The majority of the team did a quick replan and pressed on, using a route that would eventually join the planned one.  This did serve up the twisting and often extremely steep hill over Lumphanan Forest. 

Tats on the breakaway

As the pitch steepened, Tats dropped the group and found himself at the top of the hill with a big gap; cue a successful bid for the day’s ‘Jack’ award, as he then made a spectacular solo 30 mile time trial breakaway to the next feeding stn, while the rest of the team worked hard in a solid group against the conditions to reach the 65 mile mark.

Big thanks to ASDA in Huntly for looking after us with hot soup and brews and the kind people of Huntly also donated a good amount to our fundraising.  Lots of kit adjustment went on, with most riders opting for the ‘full wets’ option, although Scotty and Jay’s Heath-Robinson plastic bags for gortex sock contraption wasn’t sold on the rest of the team.  Continually impressed by Bianca’s constant requirement for food, we watched as she consumed macaroni, rice and chips, before thieving Scotty’s soup, all the rolls and still kept on eating the rations from the support wagon.  Small children and dogs were kept out of her reach until it was time to get on the road again.  The weather worsened and the next leg started with a solid 7 mile climb up and along the A96.  Knowing that Tats was again looking after the group, the 2 Scottys made their routine break for freedom, but without their usual solidarity, Scotty R put Scotty M to the sword after a couple of miles and cut him loose like a broken Boxing Day Toy on the first climb.  Harsh rules in the Chuckle Brothers camp it seems!  As the weather got worse and the rolling climbs continued, some manning up was required by the whole team, but as we finally rolled down the descent to Fochabars, the rain stopped and a quick pitstop and brew sorted out moral again. The Support Team even managed to do a spot of fundraising at the Garden Centre – nice one.  The road out of Fochabars was busy and in shades of Guardbridge yesterday, there were some very angry people in cars.  Unlucky.

A final push through Elgin and onto Lossiemouth was hard graft into the wind, but the whole team looked good as a unit and arrived at RAF Lossiemouth in style after another epic day in Scotland.  Massive thanks to RAF Lossiemouth who have properly looked after us.  A huge meal in the Officers’ Mess and I mean huge, where most of the team had both starters, all the main courses and several desserts, with Bianca again setting the record for the number of plates cleared in one sitting, much to the amusement of the Mess Staff.  Can’t thank the Stn Adjt enough for squaring us away and it was nice to see a few old mates in the Mess too.

Some great team performances today and another day of hard graft for all.  The Support Team did another excellent job today, looking after 9 very tired and wet riders for 97 miles across some difficult terrain – well done guys.  Sadly we lose the services of Al tomorrow as he has to return to RAF Leeming in order to prepare the Unit for inspection, but we'll hopefully see him again for the last day on the ride.  Thanks for you efforts and for keeping us all amused.  Tats and Kev will 'look after' your Colnago for you!

Tomorrow is another challenging prospect, with the 106 mile smash down the Great Glen to Fort William, with the option of carrying on to Ballachulish for a nice round 126 miles – tasty.  The weather forecast is more sympathetic, but you never know.  The pounds keep mounting on our fundraising page, and we must say a big thankyou to the Stn Cdr and the Officers of RAF Leeming and RAF Linton-on-Ouse for their collection last night at joint Happy Hour – well done and thankyou.  Over £8000 now and if we can keep the momentum of our fundraising (and pedals) we’ll hit our £10k target, so please keep cajoling people and get them to follow our epic challenge on the links below!

Half way through now, 5 days and 500 miles in the bag, although it seems a long time since we rolled out of the gate at RAF Leeming, a very long time ago!!

·         Virgin Giving Team Site http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/team/RAFA1000

·         Event Website http://www.riding4rafa.com/

·         Blog http://rafa1000.blogspot.com

·         Twitter www.twitter.com/Riding4RAFA

RAF team in 1,000-mile bike ride to raise charity funds - Local stories - Yorkshire Post

RAF team in 1,000-mile bike ride to raise charity funds - Local stories - Yorkshire Post

Day 4 SITREP

An epic day in the hills today with some equally epic performances from all of the team.  The day started well with a send off from the Stn Cdr, clearly none the worse from his efforts

yesterday, in fact, he looked like he could take on another 100 mile stage.  Not only was he there to get us underway, but to bestow a CinC’s Commendation and an AOC 1Gp’s Commendation – well done Colin and Al, top job.  Both are stalwarts of the unit and Colin’s Commendation for his work for RAFA was entirely fitting given his current endeavours.  Richly and rightly deserved the both of you.  The Stn Cdr had also ordered some perfect weather and bright sunshine and blue skies saw us out of the gate at RAF Leuchars.  The perfect also brought out the lesser spotted Bianca in a set of shorts for the first time on the ride after we promised her that she wouldn’t get any embarrassing tan lines.  First hospital pass of the day delivered.  Happy days.

A short blast to the Tay Bridge during which we managed to generate the biggest tailback of traffic ever seen in Guardbridge.  Some very angry people on the roads in cars today!  We made the crossing of the Tay to some brilliant views of the Firth and then a short stop to get some pics at the Discovery.  Out of Dundee and we hit the coast road before turning north to get onto the A92 and then press northeast.  A few lumps to get over before the dual

carriageway, but once on the A92, the pace increased as the riders smashed along more or less as a team.  The first testing hills of the day turned up as we turned off the A92 and hit the back roads enroute to the 1^st feeding stn.  The bunch got spilt, but was eventually brought bac

k together by a newly mettled road, which was the eye of Al’s rage today!  The first taste of the hills had a few of the riders working hard in the morning sunshine, but Bianca was clearly on fire today on the hills, or maybe that was something to do with the large portion of fish and chips last night and a huge amount of caffeine based energy drinks.  After a fair amount of effort, the 1^st feeding stn arrived at 33 miles and in pretty good time.  Spirits were still high and after a short stop the riders were on the road again, minus myself.  Schoolboy error from me who was too busy gassing with the Support Team to notice all the riders were already up the road.  Cue some unplanned time-trialling in order to catch up – I won’t make that mistake again, or so I thought!

A few more hills to get over before Brechin and the tedious climb out of town and onto the A90.    The team was split by this point, but some hard graft from the trailing group swept up most of the groups on the road.  Colin was sold the usual dummy by the 2 Scotty’s who used him up then cut him loose a few miles down the road.  Guess where the ‘Order of the Jack’ will be going tonight.  A long old drag up the A90 finally ended at Fordun, where the Support Team

had set up the 2^nd feeding stn.  Big thanks to the staff at the Castleton Farm shop for looking after us and providing the strawberries.  Excellent scoff for lunch courtesy of Mrs Miggin’s Pie shop in Laurancekirk otherwise known as Bakery Bliss Limited.  Well done Lossie for providing the timely ‘flypast’ and a spot of noise to drown out Bianca’s caffeine overload laughing.  A big feed up was required before the next leg which contained the majority of the big hills on today’s menu.  A swift team smash along the A90 before a left turn and straight into the hills, which pretty much destroyed any team formation we had and it was everyman (and Bianca) for themselves for a few miles over the Fetteresso Forest with some very steep climbs followed by some much appreciated decents.  Time to get a sweat on in the (rare) hot Scottish sunshine and press on over Mongour and Cairn-mon-earn.  Some serious manning-up was required over Cairn-mon-earn for a lot of the riders, with the miles already taking the toll on the legs.  Over the top not before time and a long and fast descent towards Banchory.  Scotty R again gets the prize for the best opportunistic breakaway of the day letting me do all the work up the hills, then catching me napping (again) at the bottom of the hill and clearing off.  A hard chase over the next 5 miles failed to reel him in and he made it to the last feeding stn giggling like a schoolboy.  An excellent stop in Banchory, with some good fundraising and much morale, mainly due to the epic hills being behind instead of infront for once.  A lot of very tired legs at this stage and a spot of ad-hoc crevice management was required by several callsigns.  Good drills by the Support Team who enlisted Wee Jock Poo-Plong McPlop to boost their fundraising activities and get us free entry to the Bachory Public Toilets – what can I say?!!

A final push over the last 25 miles into Ballater was hard work, with some more hard graft required and understandably not many riders willing or able to smash it out on the front.  Cue the Super Domestique to hit the front and dish out the pace over the rolling run into Ballater.  101 miles in the bag and Victoria Barracks is a welcome sight.  Have to give 2 Sig Regt and their RQMS in particular for squaring us away with catering – sweet drills fellas. Certa Sito.

A hard day day to be sure, but for most of the riders, one of the best days in the saddle.  Fantastic scenery, a lot of banter and some epic work on the hills by the whole team has left morale on a high.  That said, there is a lot of sore legs in the camp tonight, but all worth it as it was all left out on the road today – well done.

Another big day tomorrow as we push onto RAF Lossiemouth, 97 miles and a few hills to get over, so a big breakfast will be required tomorrow!

The team appreciate the support we’ve had from RAF Leeming and from the public along the route, it’s been fantastic.  Keep following us on this blog and on Twitter as we are fast approaching the £8000 mark. 

Day 3 SITREP

A seemingly hard day in the saddle today, despite the fact that today’s stage should have been a relatively easy stage – must be a little bit of fatigue setting in already!  Excellent breakfast at HQ 2 Div and once fuelled with haggis and black pudding the team set out into the teeth of a blustery westerly wind.  Some hard graft was required into the stiff headwind for the first 20 or so miles before crossing the Forth at the Kincardine Bridge.  Once the route turned east, we picked up speed and made good time along the coast road through Inverkeithing and Rosyth and Burntisland – big thanks in Burntisland to Alex Coutts Cycles who gave us some spares and helped to advertise our ride, check him out at www.alexcouttscycles.co.uk.  The BBC certainly got the forecast wrong as there was no sign of the full day of sunshine we had been promised, although the Scottish members of the team were quick to point out that this was as good as it gets!  The team soon split into 2 groups, with the Stn Cdr pressing on ahead with the lead group – not bad considering he hadn’t done much more than 30 odd miles in training, that said, his drafting drills were clearly well drilled! 

We pressed on to the 1^st feed stn at 33 miles and were met with a big pile of peanut butter sandwiches, courtesy of the Support Team – just what the doctor ordered. The 2 group laydown continued and we continued to press along the coast road, well, various coast roads to be honest over the next 30 miles or so.  The rear group decided to take one of the coast roads that sadly didn’t lead to the 2^nd feeding stn and popped out back on the route some 5 miles ahead of the Support Team.  Careless!  Needless to say, the banter was harsh on finally reaching the last feeding stn.  An ad-hoc attempt to bring the feeding stn to their location also failed when the Support Team Manager drove straight past the waiting 3-ship with all the pies and wasn’t willing to dish’em out!!  Another 10 miles down the road and the team regrouped in Anstruther.  The pies were duly dished out and moral suitably restored to normal levels.  We must thank Neil Cameron Family Butchers for some excellent freshly prepared pie action.  Big thanks also to The Craw’s Nest Hotel in Anstruther for their kind hospitality.


Topped up with Scottish tucker we pressed onto Crail with a hefty tailwind keeping the pace high.  Sadly the tailwind didn’t last and on the turn northwards to St Andrews became a disappointing cross/head wind.  Great views of the coast, but some twisty short climbs took the energy out of the legs by the time we got to St Andrews.  Once there we were treated to a spot of ‘world famous’ (apparently) ice cream from Janettas Ice Cream Emporium, with a spot of ad-hoc bike maintenance thanks to also completed in the bike shop next door.  Meanwhile, the Support Team were busy drumming up trade with some excellent on the spot fundraising. 

The boss treated us to a tour of St Andrews, including the Cathedral and the Old Course – not sure what the Japanese tourists thought of 10 sweaty cyclists going past the 18^th.  A last push onto Guardbridge and into RAF Leuchars and another 100 miles put into the bag, before a spot of cake and a photo opportunity in front of the mighty F4.  A good day out, tiring to be sure and despite a few teddies getting thrown, the team are still in high spirits – particularly if the harsh post-dinner banter was anything to go by.  The nether regions are certainly getting a hard time now we are 3 days in and I for one am thankful for the joyous morning ritual of applying the chamois cream.  The whole team are feeling the benefits of the High 5 energy and endurance products we brought, particularly the 4:1 endurance drink – top stuff High 5, thanks very much.  Lots of prizes dished out tonight, some funny, some certainly not fit for release on these means, that’s for sure, but again , it shows the team are in excellent spirits.  A huge thankyou to the Stn Cdr for his support and we all appreciate him completing today's stage - good drills.  A much harder day in prospect tomorrow as we push the 100 miles up into Ballater and start our route through the Highlands – time for the small chainring tomorrow no doubt.

Day 2 SITREP

Day 2 SITREP

Another great day in the saddle, although a much harder proposition than yesterday.  Plenty of good size hills to get across and the joy of rush hour traffic in Edinburgh for the last 8 or so miles which made things interesting.

Weather was kind to us again at the start, with blue skies and light winds greeting the team.  An excellent breakfast in the JRM – nice work chef; and some last minute admin before we rolled out of the gate at RAF Boulmer.

A few lumps to get over getting through Alnwick, then it was onto the first big climb of the day at around 8 miles.  A surprise to a few riders, but it certainly warmed the legs up all-round!  The descent was fast, very fast and yours truly managed to get into an epic tankslapper resulting in the GPS bouncing down the road at 45 mph – cue some swift ‘GPS overboard’ drills.  The lumps continued for some time, which pretty much splintered the bunch, with Scotty M making his usual early break for freedom.  Eventually we got on the flat and the chasing bunch cranked up the pace big style to reel in Scotty before the first feed stn.

The 1^st feed stn at Wooler was very welcome after the fast blast and our thanks go to the Green Garden Centre, Wooler for hosting us.  The support crew even managed to do some ad-hoc fundraising into the bargain.  The second leg was into a long set of rolling hills, through Coldstream and across the border into Scotland.  Promptly, the sun disappeared and the wind picked up – welcome to Scotland.  Scenic but requiring some graft could describe the rest of the leg!  Next feeding stn was at Greenlaw at ‘Blackadder’s’ Garage – nice work Edmund!!  In fact, we also found out that Blackadder also owns the cornershop, the hotel and the pub, but not a black-russian codpiece in sight.  Good drills from the support crew who had a brew, sausage rolls and a pile of jock pies – nice work!

Out of Blackadder territory and the run up to the longest climb of the day at Dun Law – marked by the large wind-turbine ‘farm’ which is always a good sign.  Going through the snow gates at the bottom of the hill also suggests some hard work is needed.  It was a long ‘grinder’ and pretty much destroyed the bunch with a few callsigns getting properly shelled out the back!  Over the top and the long-range view of Edinburgh and the Forth was a welcome sight.  Several miles of rolling hills with the odd decent and we arrived at the last feeding stn at Pathead.  Was good to meet some of the local RAFA members, including an Area Councillor from Edinburgh and Midlothian District.

Some interesting routing out of Pathead served up some last minute steep climbs which went down well after some 80 odd miles in the saddle.  Onto Edinburgh and what looked like a simple route around the ring road failed to take into account the sheer amount of rush-hour traffic and suicidal pedestrians, particular through the glorious suburb of Westerhailles!  Cue a combination of map-faff by the Support Crew and the lead riding group, mechanical dramas from Al and the Support Team Manager trying (and failing) to be in 3 places at once!  Time for a faff at the final RV and a taste of the Scottish weather just for good measure.  The last blast into Craigiehall was thankfully short and HQ 2 Div was a welcome sight.  Big shout out to the chef in the cookhouse for dishing up an excellent meal, despite having no power for most of the afternoon!  The Team were joined by the Stn Cdr, who will complete the stage to RAF Leuchars in the morning – hope you’ve brought your cycling legs boss!

A hard day to be sure, but through some of the best scenery available.  The people we’ve met en-route have been welcoming and very supportive and our fundraising is steadily climbing nicely.

We made it onto the RAF Website today: 

http://www.raf.mod.uk/news/archive/leeming-cyclists-08062011

Day 1 SITREP

An excellent day on the road to be honest.  Still, it’s only Day 1 so morale is probably artificially high at the moment.  Big thanks to the staff of RAF Leeming for a brilliant send-off.  We also managed to have a joint photo call with the RAF Marham RideforRafa team.  Good to see so many people working hard to raise money for RAFA.



Cleat faff!

 Great weather to start with and favourable winds, saw the team crack on at seriously swift pace, managing to average 18 mph over the course of the day.  Can’t see us maintaining that speed during the second half of the ride!!

Have to mention the first crash of the ride which Jay managed to achieve whilst stationary in front of Stn HQ at RAF Leeming, before he’d even turned a wheel in anger – embarrassing!!!  Not 10 miles later, he was also managing to have the first ‘mechanical’ of the week, however a swift drive-by of the local bike shop by the Support Team managed to replaced his cleats and once more he was on the road.

Spt Team Mngr hard at work!

First feed stn arrived in quick time at just over 30 miles, although I have to admit my legs weren’t exactly working by this point – they clearly take a while to wake up these days.  Off on the second leg of the day and the route through Durham, Gateshead and Newcastle.  A few lumps to deal with and before long the Redheugh Bridge was upon us.  The 2 Scotty’s and Kev had got themselves in a breakaway, but were soon hauled back in after failing to negotiate the simple one-way system of Newcastle!  Up the hill past St James’ Park and the peloton started working hard towards Longbenton.  Strangely enough, the 2^nd feed stn arrived in super-quick time too.  Over 60 miles nailed to the mast at this point, with the team clearly on form.

On departure from Longbenton, the weather started to deteriorate with a few showers and increased winds.  Some interesting driving from the locals made it interesting at times and a particular stretch of dual carriageway north of Blyth was interesting to say the least.

South of Amble and the weather turned for the worse with everyone getting a proper soaking and a few epic turns at the front were required to keep the pace up.  The final RV at Amble was a sh-Amble-s after the Support Team Manager briefed the RV using the medium of telepathy.  Unfortunately not all of the riding team were scaled for telepathic receipt of orders and the final RV was more of a meeting engagement north of Walkworth!  Note to self – must brief RV procedures more clearly at the briefing tonight!!



Arrival at RAF Boulmer



The final push to RAF Boulmer was without drama, although a few people weren’t big fans of the final climb upt o the domestic site from Longhoughton.  Big thanks to RAF Boulmer for good accommodation drills and an excellent super-size meal in the JRM – nice one chef.

A good day in the saddle, although tomorrow is likely to be a more difficult proposition.

Awards for today:

The ‘Venerable Order of the Daily Snail’:       Jay

The ‘Biting off More Than You Can Chew' Award:        Jay

The ‘Admin Vortex’ Award:  Chuckles

The ‘One-Way System Crisis’ Award: Kev

The ‘Dishonourable Order Of The Jack’ Award : The  2 Scotties

The ‘Lack Of Leg Showage’ Award: Bianca

Quote of the Day:

“This High5 bottle is difficult to suck..........”